Editing Crutch Words

When we (the Queen and I) were on the cusp of completing the final draft of my fantasy novel, Storm of Divine Light, I came across an intriguing post by #WritingCommunity member, Indie Author and Editor Dan Alatorre. His blog post concentrated on the dreaded phenomenon known as “crutch words.” Just when we thought we were safe, it was back to the draft for another round of editing.

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What are crutch words?

They are words or expressions that an author’s brain defers to like a default setting (and therefore, they become over-used). These repeated words / phrases should not be obliterated from your writing, but rather, their frequency and usage needs to be reduced.

What do I mean by “usage”?

Word usage falls into two broad categories. First, there is description / exposition and second, there is dialog. I’ll use the word “look” as an example in exposition.

Janet flashed a stern look at him.

Occurrences like this are borderline “telling.”  You can allow about fifteen per novel; just make sure they are distant from each other.

John looked at Janet’s stern face.

Blatant “telling” and also “distancing.” Please edit (with extreme prejudice) such usage from your manuscript.

On the flip side, the word “look” seems quite natural in dialog:

John held up the old photograph. “Wow! Come over here and take a look at this.”

Proper, simple, and to the point. Good job!  Now here’s an example where I make a special effort to  avoid the word “look.”

“Hey, Janet! Amble over to my location and visually scan this old photograph and let’s see if it surprises you?”

An overzealous crusade to edit any and all occurrences of a crutch word in dialog may result in stilted, wooden, and unrealistic conversation.

In another example, you may have placed the word properly, but it appears too many times within a short space.

John held up the old photograph. “Wow! Come here and take a look at this.”

Bill glanced over his shoulder and said, “Now look, I can’t drop everything whenever you think you’ve found something important. Keep searching and we’ll look everything over later.” He huffed a breath and stared at John with a disdainful glare.

“Don’t look at me like that.” John flung the photo into a box.

Every single line of dialog is perfectly acceptable. However, “look” is used four times within five lines of text. Do not only refer to the sidebar within MS Word. When you do a search for any crutch word, scroll though and look for clusters.

Is it possible to use a crutch word to one’s advantage?

People, not just authors, have crutch words in their arsenal. Therefore, to make a character more realistic, give them a crutch word or phrase that is reflective of their personality. Remember to use it and don’t abuse it. If a particular character has a verbal crutch, don’t let another character say the same phrase or word as much.

In Storm of Divine Light, I used the word “quite” thirteen times in dialog. The main secondary character, Cyril, uses it seven times, Maynard four times, Dagorat once, and Liberon once. I gave the character Cyril the phrase “Quite right.” Maynard says the same with some frequency, but I also established that he and Cyril are peers in age, education, and social status.

How to find those crutch words

I searched on-line for crutch word lists. Although some results geared toward public speaking and therefore contained “Um,” “Ya know,” and “like.” I found enough sites to compile a general list, but then came the ultimate problem associated with crutch words in your manuscript:  finding the personal ones unique to your own brain.

You may find those elusive personal crutch words by searching for a different one. When I searched through my manuscript for “very,” MS Word also highlighted “every,” “everything,” “everyone” and “everywhere.” In this way, I discovered that “every” was one of my personal crutches. By the time I was done, I had an extensive list to scrub:

  • A bit
  • A few
  • Actually
  • Almost
  • Appear
  • As though
  • Basically
  • Beginning
  • Certainly
  • Could
  • Definitely
  • Each
  • Every/thing/one
  • Felt
  • Finally* (Obliterate this one)
  • Gaze
  • Glance
  • Heard/hear
  • Just
  • Look
  • Nearly
  • Nod
  • Only
  • Probably
  • Quite
  • Rather
  • Reach
  • Realize
  • Really
  • Saw
  • See
  • Seem/Seems/Seemed
  • Shrugged his/her/their shoulders
  • Simply
  • Slightly
  • Some / Somehow
  • Touch
  • Turn / return
  • Very
  • Virtually
  • Was
  • Watch
  • Wonder
  • Would

Remember to apply the principles of usage and frequency when hunting these buggers down.

I’m somewhat knocked out by the difference between a crutch word-cleaned draft and the preceding draft. My manuscript for Storm of Divine Light became tighter, and neater. Or shall I say more groomed?

Did you find this helpful? Did you find a personal crutch word not on my list?

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Balancing Your Chapter Titles

Back in 2016, while still writing and editing my first fantasy novel, I wrote a post concerning the pros/cons and naming conventions of chapter titles. Since then, I’ve learned more about the ins and outs of creating them. First, a chapter title must be true. An author should never title a chapter something like “A Stampede of Pink Elephants” when there is no stampede or even a mention of a pink elephant, real or imagined, within the chapter. This notion of truthfulness brings us to the next problem, and the reason that creating chapter titles requires writing and editing skills, too.

We may label this second can of worms “honesty to a fault.” Imagine a sub-plot dedicated to the romance between the main character, Mary, and the detective, Richard. Naturally, the pages spent building up the romance teases the reader and forces possibilities and questions to grow in his or her mind. Will one die? Will they break up? Will they get married? Perhaps the end of chapter ten is a cliff-hanging hook. Will Richard save Mary in time? Too bad you titled chapter sixteen, “Mary and Richard’s Wild Wedding.” The author created an honest title, but his/her table of contents is nothing more than an extended spoiler list of the novel.

Here are the chapter titles for Storm of Divine Light:

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Chap.  1 The Signs & Portents of Mage-Sense

Chap.  2 The Confessions of Brother Maynard

Chap.  3 Religious Relics Are People Too

Chap.  4 How to Roast a Goblin

Chap.  5 Secret Steps

Chap.  6 The Metamorphosis of Liberon

Chap.  7 Under the Stolen Kiss

Chap.  8 In Hot Pursuit of a Mouse

Chap.  9 Affection’s Afflictions

Chap. 10 The Last Wagon

Chap. 11 The Incredible Gnomish Vision Tube

Chap. 12 A Bloody Fragrance

Chap. 13 Soft Footsteps in the Dark

Chap. 14 Forks in the Road

Chap. 15 Suns, Moons, & Stars

Chap. 16 May the Light Shine upon Thee

Chap. 17 Something Stirs in the Wood

Chap. 18 Across the Queen’s River

Chap. 19 Ancient Rites Fulfilled

Chap. 20 Red Desert Rezzin

Chap. 21 Palatial Brevity

Chap. 22 The Price of Blood

Chap. 23 Golgent on the Horizon

Chap. 24 Weapons of Light

Chap. 25 Bulls, Ballistae, & Bandoras

Chap. 26 Guilder’s Gambit

Chap. 27 Stronghold of Shadow

Chap. 28 Full Circle

Chap. 29 Vows

I hope these chapter titles create an air of mystery and will entice the reader rather than reveal the whole plot of Storm of Divine Light. Of course, they are all truthful descriptions as well.

Do you use chapter titles when you write or prefer them in the books you read? Which chapter title of Storm of Divine Light intrigues you the most?

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New Epic Fantasy Novel: Storm of Divine Light

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The words “epic fantasy novel” do not paint an exact picture. With absolute justification and zero mental gymnastics, Storm of Divine Light is also a mystery, a romantic fantasy, an action adventure quest, and a battle laden with sword and sorcery, all written with a healthy dose of magic, religion, and humor.

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These sub-genres weave into the main story line and world-building. Most importantly, they are not simply tossed in from left field, or as some like to say, “parachuted” into the plot. Instead, they grow organically from the main plot line.


Epic Fantasy + sword and sorcery + mystery + romance + quest + action adventure + magic + humor = A most splendid entertaining experience.


stormpromoF3Imagine the epic fantasy plot line as a thick tree trunk with the sub-plots and genres as branches. Naturally, some branches are thick and closer to the base of the tree, while others are the twigs sprouting from other branches. Therefore, Storm of Divine Light has a winning formula.

Without naming the different descriptions (except quest), can you see the possibilities within the blurb?

A disturbance in the night and an unlikely stranger force the exiled master rogue Dagorat into a perilous quest. Along with his oldest friend Cyril the Wise, he sets off to retrieve a powerful weapon stolen by the dark mages of the Golgent.

Together, they brave the journey across a continent to Dagorat’s former home of Easterly, where discovery means certain execution. Along the way, he uncovers hard truths about his past, and finds new hopes for his future.

But the rising threat of war means those hopes tremble on a razor’s edge. Can he ever find his way out of the shadows and into the light?

Do you like to read multi-genre books? Does the blurb intrigue you?

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Storm of Divine Light: The Tales of Tyrennia: Book 1

Free with #KindleUnimited       eBook $3.99       Print $13.99

 

When You’re Left Behind

I am not referring that book and later TV series. I’m talking about what happens when you’re a military spouse and your significant other (in my case it’s my wife) is sent overseas.

That’s the reason why you haven’t seen me blogging for the last couple of months. The adjustment is difficult and I’ve been bogged down. Many other things demanded my attention.

Evening is the worst part of each day. I’m accustomed to her not being around during the day. But with each sunset, we’re not together. Either enjoying dinner, snuggled on the couch, reading, or playing LOTRO (Lord of the Rings on Line).

For those who been visiting this blog for a while know about my love of cooking. But when there’s nobody to share it with, it loses its appeal.

However, on the writing front, I formed a new on-line critique group. My fantasy novel is just getting better all the time. With each passing week, noticeable refinements are put into place. The short stories are doing well too.  The small critique group here in town has provided me with a few insights on my shorts stories.

Tell me how you’re doing?

Here’s My 2015 Reading List

An author should also be an avid reader. Upon reading the list below, you may notice that I’m not locked into any particular genre or type of book. You’ll see fiction and non-fiction of various sorts and subjects. Rather than make a long blog post about the value of reading, I prefer to make a note below to each title about why I have chosen each particular work.

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Photo by Megan and used under CC license

The Joy of the Gospel by Pope Francis

I’m Catholic and he’s the Pope – need I say more? But seriously, I am truly interested in what Pope Francis has to say about the gospels. Some of the stories I’ve heard about Pope Francis while he was the Archbishop of Buenos Aires makes me want some insight from this very special man.

The Science before Science by Dr. Anthony Rizzi

I saw Dr. Rizzi on EWTN Live one night and was fascinated. He sees no conflict between science and the Church. Too often they are portrayed as enemies at each other’s throats. Of course, he also reminds us that it was the Catholic Church that invented the science that we have today.

Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

Author and columnist, G.K. Chesterton is also known as “The Apostle of Common Sense.” His works vary greatly from novels to non-fiction, but the themes are usually the same. How does the truth of theology clash with modern western society? I’ve seen the series about him on EWTN, and it’s always intriguing. There is also a website for the Chesterton Society.

The Blackguard by Ben Garrido

I find the concept of this book utterly irresistible. Imagine an enclave of people living according to their own rules in modern America. I started reading this book last year and then had to put it down (with the rest of my life) on account of moving across the country. If I were teaching a sociology class, I would assign this book.

Also, Ben Garrido’s blog articles are always an academic and illuminating treat.

Over My Dead Body by Bruce Borders

From what I’ve read about Bruce, he seems like a real Texas Libertarian. Many Libertarian authors (myself included) are making frightening predictions about the iron hand of government. Imagine if the government took away your child without any proper justification. That’s the premise of Bruce’s novel. I also know that this book was released just a month or two before an actual story eerily similar to Bruce’s novel hit the news cycle.

The Spanish Inquisition: A Historical Revision by Henry Kamen

It never ceases to amaze me how many people are just sucked in by the anti-Catholic myths that were generated around the time of Henry VIII and the English “Cold War” with Spain. I plan on writing some historical fiction concerning these myths, so this will be the start of my research. Now I just need to find a few good titles on Galileo and Pope Pius XII (I know that most of the definitive titles about Pope Pius XII are by Sister Marchione; just haven’t decided on which one to buy).

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson

I can’t resist a good fantasy novel, and I’ve heard many positive things about this one in particular. Since I’m writing a fantasy novel, it seems like a good idea to read some well-written fantasy. Brandon can describe magic, world-build, and get into character’s minds in a smooth and non-heavy-handed manner.

Writing About Magic by Rayne Hall

I’ve read another title by Rayne Hall called Writing Fight Scenes. Her research is so exhaustive and complete that when I saw this title, I knew I had to have it. I know authors can go a bit wacky with the self-help writing guides, but I do not. This is my fourth book in two years.

I also need to choose a few more books from the Rave Reviews official list. There are so many titles and genres by so many talented authors. Help me out with a suggestion…or two or three.

Fowl Summer Nights by Diane Lynn McGyver

See what happens when empty nest syndrome and retirement are taken to their “Nth degree.” The exchanges between the main character and her neighbors make this work into a light-hearted romp. Diane spins a great humorous tale filled with comic believability laced with a healthy dose of outlandish circumstances.

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Click the cover photo to link to Amazon

Despite the humorous, I think McGyver is also giving us a lesson about aging, family, and society in general without a heavy hand. These more serious matters are delivered via subtext.

McGyver’s professional prose style makes for an easy and enjoyable read. Especially when she uses her language skills to deliver clever wordplay quips. The novella is free of typographical and formatting errors, and is well edited, which is quite a relief in today’s indie market.

A perfect quick read! I’m giving this one five stars *****

#NaNoWriMo 2014: +++ The End +++

I know that November isn’t over yet, but for me NaNoWriMo 2014 is done. I also know that I didn’t make the 50K word count, but that wasn’t my goal anyway.

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Image Courtesy of National Novel Writing Month

My #fantasy novel “The First Light” had a word count of around 38K on November 1st. My goal was to finish the first draft, and I had hoped that this year’s NaNoWriMo event would push me along. It did.

I added 23K words this month to the first draft of my manuscript, and I was able to type those glorious words “+++ The End +++”.

Yes, I’m glad that I got to do that. What #author wouldn’t be? However, I do feel like I’ve just lost an old friend. I know that my friend will be back when the editing process begins in a couple of months.

A current #wrtitetip states that an author should put their manuscript away and leave it alone for two months. But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to cease writing. I have a backlog of short stories to edit. Those stories will afford me the opportunity to hone my editing skills before going back to the novel.

Has NaNoWriMo 2014 been good for you too?

#NanoWriMo 2014 Diary, Nov. 1 – 8

This was a tough week. I think it would have been difficult for any #indieauthor. I had a busy personal day on the third and picked up a bug / flu on the fourth. Of course I was ill for several days with my nose feeling like it weighed twenty pounds. On some days I only managed about 450 words. However, on the eighth I managed 2,688 words.

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Image Courtesy of National Novel Writing Month

I refused to let life get in the way. My total for the first eight days is now at 11,594 words.

On November 1st I was still in chapter 17 with about a page to go. By the 8th I had completed chapter 22. Yes, I think I’m going to have the first draft of my #fantasy novel The First Light completed before November is over.

I love it when a novel starts #writing itself. Characters start doing and saying things that I didn’t plan for them. A very minor sub-character has stood up and asserted herself in a dramatic way. I had never thought about a sequel for The First Light or even creating a trilogy or a series under the banner of The Tales of Tyrhennia. However, so many things have just fallen into place that I can see the possibilities.

I’d like to try to attend another couple of write-ins in #Boise before the month is over as well.

How is your NaNoWriMo 2014 experience going?

The World of Tyrennia

I’m writing a fantasy novel called Storm of Divine Light. It is the first in The Tales of Tyrennia series. Set in a Tolkien-inspired world with other muses like the famous tabletop Role Playing Games (RPG’s) Dungeons & Dragons, and Pathfinder. Also, there are the equally inspiring experiences associated with Lord of the Rings Online (LOTRO) and World of Warcraft (WoW).

Within Tyrennia are the three Human Kingdoms of Ravenna, Easterly, and Quintalya. Ravenna is the most powerful and wealthy kingdom as is its main city Mentiria, which also lies near The Shantokran, a separate area for light mages.

In the far North lies the Dwarven Kingdom and The Golgent lands of the Dark Mages. There are also Gnomes and Halflings lands as well as an Elven refuge.

Eleven of the first twelve chapters are set within Mentiria, a hustling and bustling cosmopolitan city containing taverns, saloons, guilds, and shops of all sorts. The tale opens during the Festival of the Summer Solstice, in which readers will encounter street vendors, performers, magicians and drunkards. The city’s atmosphere and culture provide ripe raw material for tales, adventure, and world-building.

Within the novel’s pages, the reader will follow a quest-based adventure with my two main characters, Dagorat and Cyril. Something precious and powerful has been lost (and no, it’s not a ring), and our heroes must retrieve it. Along the way they will be joined by interesting personas, all of whom bring something unique and fun to the journey.

Although classified as a fantasy novel, Storm of Divine Light has a healthy dose of humor, magic, religion, romance, mystery, action and adventure.

Is Tyrennia the name of the world or simply the main continent? Or both because the continent is the known world?

You’ll have to read to find out.